…for Jerad

So today arrived with a weird sampling of almost every emotion available. Today my brother would have turned 25. He was the best big bro out there and this one goes out to him.

{let’s start with a throwback, shall we}

jerad and me young

I mean, look at us! Don’t we just seem like the biggest champs on the block? Growing up with this kid as my big brother was fantastic. We were the dynamic duo for so long and when the little bro arrived on the scene we quickly turned into the three musketeers. In good times and bad, one thing that always stayed the same was the bond the three of us shared.

Now don’t get me wrong, we had our moments. And when I say moments I mean hair-pulling, arm-twisting, leg-biting, shin-kicking, full on cage match kind of moments. But I wouldn’t trade those times for the world. I am proud to say that I grew up to be a tough girl because of the shenanigans I got into with these boys. Being the only girl was kind of awesome. No, it was completely awesome. Absolutely, entirely, 100% awesome.

Jerad kept me in check the entire time, and I am forever thankful for that. From challenging me to do as well as he did academically {let’s be real, the kid was kind of a genius} or pushing me to be a fierce competitor, he was always there to motivate me to achieve my absolute best. He was an inspiration and I know he is missed and remembered by so many, especially today.

But like I said, it’s weird. I honestly am not sure how I’m feeling. So what better way to explain the things that are coming to mind than by using words that other people {who are all way more talented when it comes to mashing up words and feelings into all things wonderful} came up with?

– always remember there was nothing worth sharing like the love that let us share our name –

{avett brothers}

– stand up now and face the sun won’t hide my tail or turn and run –

{aloe blacc}

– cause all of me loves all of you –

{john legend}

– if the sky comes falling down for you there’s nothing in this world i wouldn’t do –


– but if you close your eyes does it almost feel like nothing changed at all –


See, now you get it. Because he’s my brother I feel like people expect me to be super sad and not want to do anything but sleep and eat all of the chocolate, yet somehow it’s been a completely different experience than I anticipated. Today I look back on all of the memories that we shared and smile. It’s upsetting that there are no more memories to come and the notion that these spots of joy and love in my mind may someday fade is quite a frightful concept. However, I guarantee there are some things that I will never forget.

{like how he played like a champion, everyday}

me and jerad old

I will always remember our summer birthday bash. I will always remember the eye rolls we shared when everyone around us was being way too cool for school. I will remember the looks we gave each other. Whether they were good or bad, we just knew exactly what the other person wanted to say. I will always remember us. I will always remember him.

So Jerad, this one is for you. Love, sis.



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